The Art of Waiting

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Everyday of my life. i always feel there is something in me is missing, i don't know what is it, but until now still wondering what is it. Im not happy at all, i don't know what to do. Even if i am old enough will i am wondering what i want to do, still finding what interest me.

 Well having no job at all says it all. this is what makes me sad, i did my best to find one but still  i am unemployed. Some promised me to hire in their company but until now i am still waiting. Maybe what i did is not good enough but i came to the point that i gave up, because there is no use anymore i did my best and i think the destiny or whatever you call it does not want me to be happy. I came to the point that i say to myself that im done and i think this is the moment.As what i said in the past post, that i have many dreams to fulfill but then again the universe don't conspire me to fulfill my  dreams.

I think I'll just wait, but waiting is not easy because you will think that its a waste of time. You will think that you've accomplished a lot of things when that moment that you've waited has finally come, but in reality you are just waiting. You will just doing nothing because all you to do is wait,wait  and wait.

But then again while I am waiting I want to be productive, while I am in our house I practice on how to paint, but man its so hard. I am a frustrated artist I want to see myself in the art world but then again, I dont how to act, dance, paint, draw, and etc.  I am doing something that for me that will benefit me in the future.

Yeah, I admit it. I am jealous to my high school and college batch mates that they are happy now in their lives. They have their own family, their own jobs, having a love life and some of them are bullied me when i was studying. I know that life is soo fucking unfair, but not to the point in what everything i do, i always fail! well that's the irony of my life.

PS.  please don't think that i made this blog in order for me to rant to the negative things happened in my life. its not that., i write this in order for you to be aware that even if you have a bad life still there are people who loves you no matter what  and that is your family and in order for you to aware that life is not easy. there are people who are living in sadness but coping and hoping that there is still beautiful or good things that will happen in our lives.

love, 

shebang